A New York State of Mind...

So earlier today I got an e-mail from one of my ex-girlfriends, a person who I was at one time very close to, and at this time, am very not. Nothing Earth-shattering there, it's the way of things, I guess. Though at one time I prided myself on my good relationships with my exes, that time has long past, and that's a weird thing to pride yourself on anyway. Hmm, perhaps that's another blog post in and of itself.

Anyway, I thought this an odd occurrence, the e-mail that is, because a) I haven't spoken to this girl (really) in years, and b) earlier in the day I was listening to the Billy Joel song "A New York State of Mind" which always makes me feel homesick, even if I'm in New York (a weird phenomenon, I know), but occasionally makes me think of this girl, for no particular reason at all, other than we both used to like Billy Joel.

Without getting too much into details, she was e-mailing me out of the blue because she saw something I mentioned online in regards to her, and thought I was taking a swipe at her. This wasn't the case, so it's unfortunate that she got worked up enough about it that she e-mailed me at work to let me know. But I just find it weird that she e-mailed me at all. I mean, after this amount of time, and what was said the last time we saw each other (more on that in a bit), I would think she could really care less, or at least she wouldn't be bothered to write. I mean, if she, or someone similar to that level of relationship with me, say a friend of mine whom I was close with in high school, but not really since, posted "Tom Cocozza is a retarded jerk-wad, and I hope he rots!" I'd probably be upset, but I likely wouldn't be motivated to get in touch with them and ask them why. And if I did, I likely wouldn't be all confrontational about it. But that's me, I guess.

I don't know what bothers me more, that in the middle of a stressful, busy workday (most of them are) I get an e-mail from someone who hasn't e-mailed me in years telling me to get bent, or the fact that that's the situation I find myself in with this person. I'd like to think the latter, because I like to think of myself as someone who's sentimental, and in touch with their emotions, a real hip, modern guy. More than likely though, it's the former, because I'm really just someone who hates getting all riled up, especially when I'm work. Personal matters are for personal time, and how am I supposed to deal with this stuff when I'm responsible for whatever work I'm supposed to be doing? That's what I want to know.
This is why I hate internet communication. You never have any idea of intent behind what is said, other than what you can read from context. The shorter the message, the more varied the context, and the more complex the thought, the more chance of it being interpreted different ways. This is why real things of import should be discussed face-to-face, or at least over the phone. And...end rant.

Oh, I guess I should mention what happened the last time I really saw this girl, as I alluded to it earlier, and while I understood the sentiment completely, and admired the forthrightness she had in saying it, it still kind of bummed me out for a while. I'm not sure when it was, I'm thinking a year or two ago, I was in Times Square, walking out of Toys 'R' Us, with a purchase for my nephew in a big bag, when literally, out of the blue, I run into this girl in the middle of the crowded sidewalk. This is always one of the more remarkable things about New York City to me, it's huge, with millions of millions of people, and you'll randomly run into someone you know at someplace neither of you knows the other will be. The odds have got to be astronomical, but it happens to me at least once a year.
Anyways, so we hug, and exchange small-talk pleasantries and the like, and since she's meeting her parents for dinner, and I have to get home and do my own things, we quickly part ways. I let her know that while we don't see each other anymore, if she ever wants to hang out, just let me know. We'll work something out. It's not just me, as she used to be friends with some of my friends as well, they'd like to see her too, and all. She responds to me thusly: that she's got her own life now, with her own things going on, and new friends and the like, and really doesn't think that will be happening. Okay. Like I said, got to admire the ability to be straightforward about it, but jeez. I mean, I was only saying what I was saying half out of being polite; it's what you say in situations like that. So I said okay, and went on my way. With the exception of some comments on each other's Facebook pages, that's been pretty much it until today.

Huh.

Ain't life a kick in the pants sometimes?

Still, it isn't all clouds and woe, not by a long shot. One, I got a nice blog entry out of it, so that's good. Two, my annoyance, while making it hard to focus at work, did help the afternoon move faster. Three, I feel I don't have enough chances for introspection, and while this isn't exactly what I would want to focus on, I can't look a gift horse in the mouth in that regard. To know yourself is to know the world, and often times I feel I don't know myself at all. So maybe this'll help in that regard.

Oh, and like Detective Columbo, one last thing. In case he happens to be reading this, "Jason Suslak is a retarded jerk-wad, and I hope he rots!"